Mounds of ordinary stuff

Today was a lovely day. The sky seemed to be beaming down on me as I stood in the balcony listening to some lovely songs (yes, I admit it, Keane again, I just can't help being in love with everything about them) and getting my daily supply of Vitamin D. I just couldn't bear myself lazing about for one more second and simply had to write something down - even if just a stupid little blog. These days are odd- bittersweet one could say. I come in contact with all these things that inspire me and fill me with a sense of infinite possibilities- poetry, music, books and the like (I've finally got down to doing some of the 'recommended reading' found in the English course catalogue). But then once the book is closed or the stereo switched off, that deafening silence comes back again and it seems that life couldn't possibly be more uninspiring. There seem to be so many beautiful things out there, yet I seem to be buried under mounds of ordinary stuff. It's like life never seems to live up to its promise. On paper I should be having the time of my life but in reality it's just all potential and no actuality. To make matters slightly worse, all my friends seem to be moving on with their lives, working towards their goals, while I'm stuck in a rut, idealizing, knowing that I want something but not knowing what it is and how to get it. Ah, life is indeed complicated! And then I see people who're going through the kind of suffering I can't even fathom and they seem to have that sparkle in the eye and that fulfilment I so desperately yearn for. And I am dumbfounded and bewildered. Maybe someday I'll get it.

Until next time
Take care and Happy holidays
Elizabeth
xxxxxx