Sometimes it feels like there is a big gaping hole where my life should be. Generally, I'm not sad, mind you, but I spend the major part of my life thinking about the past and dreaming about the future, rather than actually living. Maybe that is why I find it difficult to go to bed and simply lie down to sleep at night- because I want to stay up waiting for life to start. Hmm, which is why I find the title of Keane's first album "Hopes and Fears" more significant than it might seem at face value. The title probably refers to the fact that the album is mostly about their hopes and fears. Obvious enough. However, I like to understand that they felt that their lives had not started yet- they were still enveloped in what they wished for and what they feared- rather than in living that big big thing- Real Life. In fact there are various references to feeling like they're "disappearing" and "fading away" as well as to "aching, waiting for life to start".
Will Real Life ever start? Or is this Real Life? Whiling away the time and trying to cheer myself up by attempting to set up a Hi5 playlist while joking with a dear friend on MSN on a Saturday night in September? Yep, last weekend of the summer holidays and I stayed in. Was too unmotivated to leave the house. But it's no big deal, there will be plenty of time to go out. These past few days my mood had been steadily regressing. Probably it's the fact that I still do not know whether I'll be a first or second year student. At first, they said no but, apparently, now this 'no' has turned into a pending request. At this point you might be thinking that I should actually be hopeful, but there are too many obscure regulations sprouting up all over the place for me to be positive about them letting a former Education student into the second year of the Arts Honours course, despite the fact that I only have 4 measly ECTS credits missing, and a good average (thank God for that). Ah we shall see!
Despite the fact that I have been the proud and loving owner of this laptop for seven months now, (7 months, 1 week and 1 day to be exact- Dear me I need a life!), it is only now that it passed through my dear little head that I can actually watch dvds in the silence of my bedroom, rather than in the computer room/study, which I share with my statistician-brother, and which is in dire need of a door! I've watched a couple of Clive Owen films already *broad smile* and was planning to watch 'One Hour Photo' tonight but, on second thoughts, I did not think that watching a harrowing drama about a man who wishes he had a life was a good idea after I managed to cheer myself up with a little help from Claire (the laughs) and Hi5 (the playlist).
My mood tonight is quietly yet hopelessly romantic and I cannot stop listening to 'Don't Leave Home' by Dido. I wish Dido would roll up her sleeves and release a worthy follow-up to No Angel. I used to love her back then, and I think this song was on that album. I have read some comments that it is not actually a love song, but a song about drug addiction, and some lines do hint at this e.g. " You won't need other friends anymore" and "I'll make you weaker". In any case, the melody and the refrain are heart-wrenchingly beautiful and shamelessly romantic. And, frankly, we listeners are free to interpret it as we like. Wish someone would sing that to me, or hum it at least, to avoid the drug-related connotations.
Last thing I shall do today is sing the praises of Mira Nair, whose film 'The Namesake' I watched, and loved, last Tuesday! Please do try and get hold of this film and watch it! I shall try to post a review in my next entry, which for a change would be useful, since I believe not much has been written in the Maltese press about it. I loved it so much I have lovingly given it another name- 'The Great Journey of Gogol Ganguly'. Problem is, I am finding it hard to articulate what is so great about it. But I have to talk about it!
Till next time,
I hope you shall be in the receipt of an enjoyableness (I warn that I shall reuse this sentence ad nauseum)
Lizzy
xxxx
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3 comments:
elll ! inti ga qed tghix hajtek soo u don't need one :P look at the possitive side of thing :P u oqod ahseb naqa fdawk li vera mghandhomx hajja :P lool nhsb u know who am talking about :P billi tibqa sibt gewwa? ghadt ghandek 19 adt fadalek xi tgawdi :P :) aaaa gud luck al uniiiiiii!! cyaaa =)
El.... at 19 you say you must get a life?? I would give up everything oh to be 19 again. It's when you're at your best but you don't know it. So just rejoice in the best days of your life, even if you're staying in. Just be, the rest of the world will come to you, you'll see. Oh and never forget.... Mr. Darcy is for real, I'm sure of that.
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