Bittersweet

Bad day and good day, sort of. It started well, turned sour and became nice again. I woke up feeling rejuvenated after a lovely first part of the weekend. Last week was truly exhausting. I never slept for more than five hours a night and taught all day long. Therefore the weekend, spent sleeping, eating and shopping, was quite blissful. Tomorrow is the start of my final week at work and I must admit that I cannot wait till I'm free!!! It's not that I do not want to work, it's just that I dread TEFLing. There is so much I plan to do. I have to read some good books and finally get down to writing. I had started something half decent after the exams but work meant I had to stop, so now I will continue, hopefully that is. Besides, I need to tidy up my room which has been on the verge of tumbling into the abyss (a Tim Rice Oxley quote!!!) of complete chaos for the last three months or so. Moreover, I have to plan THE trip to Berlin!!! Yes, Marilyn, Deborah and I have decided to just pack our bags and leave, soli soletti, to the land that gave us the source of so much stress and laborious studying- the German language! Hopefully we'll have booked by next week and I will start drawing up some kind of schedule for our visits. Maybe we'll have time to visit some of the places around Berlin too- such as the Mark Brandenburg (you Teutonic nerds should know what that is).

Ok, where was I?? Oh yes, the day turned sour. I had an argument with a dear friend of mine who is sort of drifting away. Maybe I reacted too strongly but, for goodness' sake, I had just been listening to my mother begging me to explain why I gave up on teaching and on a secure job YET AGAIN, and I was not in the mood to be diplomatic. The argument and other assorted stupid things ruined my day, until Desiree came here and we went to M'Scala. We stuffed our faces with chicken wrap and crisps at the pitch and then grabbed a cappucino ( which I did not like) and caught the bus to Zabbar. From there Desiree accompanied me to my house in Fgura, we chatted a while in the drive-in and then I accompanied Des back to Zabbar. You see, we weren't exactly in the mood to get back home.

Bah, so far a very functional and factual blog. Yet, it is too late for me to be my usual profound self ;p. Am kind of scared of the work-less summer that lies ahead and maybe I am trying to make life seem full of things to do. I did apply for summerwork with the university in summer, so maybe I will have a job, even if for a couple of weeks and with what is sure to be a meagre pay. In any case, why be so scared of having some time all to myself? I have to write, and I will somehow manage. I used to have a spark somewhere back in my days as a pimply grease machine, so why should I have lost it now? Furthermore I'm still in limbo as regards the course. Will I have to repeat first year? Will I find it in myself to prove to mum that I made the right choice? Something tells me I will. I am being so positive that I sound like a PSD teacher repeating her mantra on automatic.

Oh dear, this post gives me the feeling of a fabricated sort of sensofhjumer (I'll explain in some other post). Don't know why, but my dreamy, Keane-loving side seems to be buried under a mound of ordinariness (there i go again, repeating myself). But DO NOT DESPAIR, I am still a big fan of the three little nerds from Sussex and still think they are the cutest thing since, well, since the cutest thing that came before them. Honestly though, I am addicted to their music. They give me the sense of the incurable romanticism of people who, like me, must have led pretty sheltered, ordinary lives. Well, I will elaborate some other time. Till then, I wish you all sweet summer days.

Take care,
Lizzy
xxxxx