The more I try to be myself, the more I realise that I have nothing to say, there is nothing in me. The only place I see myself is in other people's words/music/images/whatever.

Am I doing too much comparative literature ?

Sunday night avoidance of work

The most effective way of snuffing any small flicker of creative literary fire is to read for a degree in English. You just realise how obscenely untalented, mediocre and insignificant you are. No, T.S. Eliot I just ain't! This weekend was mostly spent being depressed while trying to keep myself from having violent thoughts resulting from the most inane and DEAD subject on the planet: Research Methods. The mere thought would scar even Kurtz for life, I tell you. Besides, I realised that when I look inside I find nothing, no opinions, no ideas, just a passive reception of others' greatness. Yet tonight I listened to the Arcade Fire album I bought yet again and something in me just started to soar. Dear me, I do love that band. I read a review of their album (Neon Bible) and the reviewer described them as dazzling. They can take you to the depths and make you soar all at the same time. Sigh. And their voices are just bewitching. They make your heart want to burn just for the sake of all that is beautiful in the world, however cheesy that may sound. I should be off to nurture a small desire of reading some thesis related criticism. Man, I feel I'm drowning in work- mostly ENDLESS READING- and I really really want to read everything they tell me to but I'm just too slow aargh!

BTW My job is bringing out the passionate side in me. I HATE it so much! Yes, even if its jst four hours a week. BLEHHHHHHHH And I'm certifiably crap at it, as the Quality Control I had today proved BLEHHHHH



Warning: This vidoe can lead to psychological dependence.

Till next time
Eliz
xxxxx :D