"Within me a lunatic sings"

Last night I stayed up late trying to collect myself, trying to gather my thoughts and wishes and reconcile them with reality. I kept trying to put myself in a frame of mind which could calm me down and get me out of this sea of restlessness, which would make me feel like I'm headed somewhere. Such a lofty aim was obviously doomed to failure, and it only led me to wake up with a dull headache and a cold sweat whenever I think of how much time I'm wasting just wondering and rambling. I'm scared shitless of my dissertation. This morning I tried to get started on a simple, short assignment of 1500 words and all I got was a rush of random, poorly developed ideas and a lot of fidgeting. I do not even want to think about having to sit down and actually write my dissertation.

And the evil door to door survey looms dark and menacing over our poor heads.

Sigur Ros make me want to run away from here and do my thing, which in my case would probably mean running around looking at other people's "things" and wondering why I wasn't the one doing them. Sigur Ros attest to the beauty within Man's soul. Honestly. I love them. And I wanna go to Iceland. Now!



Apparently the title of this song means: "Within me a lunatic sings"

:D

till next time
Liz
xx

The more I try to be myself, the more I realise that I have nothing to say, there is nothing in me. The only place I see myself is in other people's words/music/images/whatever.

Am I doing too much comparative literature ?

Sunday night avoidance of work

The most effective way of snuffing any small flicker of creative literary fire is to read for a degree in English. You just realise how obscenely untalented, mediocre and insignificant you are. No, T.S. Eliot I just ain't! This weekend was mostly spent being depressed while trying to keep myself from having violent thoughts resulting from the most inane and DEAD subject on the planet: Research Methods. The mere thought would scar even Kurtz for life, I tell you. Besides, I realised that when I look inside I find nothing, no opinions, no ideas, just a passive reception of others' greatness. Yet tonight I listened to the Arcade Fire album I bought yet again and something in me just started to soar. Dear me, I do love that band. I read a review of their album (Neon Bible) and the reviewer described them as dazzling. They can take you to the depths and make you soar all at the same time. Sigh. And their voices are just bewitching. They make your heart want to burn just for the sake of all that is beautiful in the world, however cheesy that may sound. I should be off to nurture a small desire of reading some thesis related criticism. Man, I feel I'm drowning in work- mostly ENDLESS READING- and I really really want to read everything they tell me to but I'm just too slow aargh!

BTW My job is bringing out the passionate side in me. I HATE it so much! Yes, even if its jst four hours a week. BLEHHHHHHHH And I'm certifiably crap at it, as the Quality Control I had today proved BLEHHHHH



Warning: This vidoe can lead to psychological dependence.

Till next time
Eliz
xxxxx :D

You' d better give me something, before I sputter out

I used to love love this song when I was at secondary school. They used to play it on MTV New, which I used to watch religiously in order to maybe catch a glimpse of darling Radiohead:



I'm enjoying uni this year even though I'm swamped in work already. Most of my credits are really really interesting, except for Research Methods :(

Should be off to read a story called The Machine Stops by EM Forster. Sounds very full of sci fi and landscapes of white and grey metal. Shudders.

Liz
xxx

What is a marsh?

The big shock for all the Maltese people who, like me, were Enid Blyton junkies when they were children, was that at one point they realised there is no Rubadub mansion, no wooden panelling behind which there is a secret passage, no scones at teatime (What are scones anyway?), no autumn leaves, no boarding schools, no policeman saying "Clear Orf!", no mist and marshes, no friends with an insurmountable urge to create a secret society with a secret password.

TV

Today I realised that the only way to deal with disillusionment in a world deprived of heroes is to shut it out and watch TV on Youtube. It's what I did in my darkened room at twilight this evening. I felt so safe and blessed. I watched The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2007. It was quite funny and kept me watching uploaded part after uploaded part. PV was fun yesterday but the urge to crawl inside my shell is still NOT negligible.

Important Expeditions

Yesterday I was so depressed I went on a long expedition in search of Radiohead's In Rainbows in the evening, similar to the one I had undertaken around five years ago in order to buy Ok Computer.I was feeling rather sad so I figured an hour going round on a rickety old bus in the gray sticky weather with my mp3 headphones stuck into my ears would do no harm. All the shops in Valletta did not have it. One particular salesman acted as if he did not know it was their latest album, which probably means he did not know it is their latest album, which makes him rather.. um.. inappropriate for his own job. I'm not one to ride on a ridiculous high horse and think Radiohead are uber cool and everyone should like them BUT I do expect someone who works at a record shop to know that a band as famous as Radiohead released an album. Nyways, I had nothing better to do so caught the bus off to Baystreet. The salesman there was refreshingly more knowledgeable but this led him to purchase the last copy of the album himself, so I headed back home with the promise that more copies were on the way. As you might have realised, I'm going through a bit of lull in the business of making myself happy. I don't know if the cocktail of Conrad, Radiohead and The Dark Knight OST is to blame, but I'm more inclined to think of it as a symptom of my glaring inability to make my life mean anything. I feel so tired and lethargic all the time, and I'm fed up of the same old places. I realised that what I really wanna do after I finish my degree is go get a Masters in Britain, but that sounds like impossibly hard and expensive. Besides I do think I'm a bit too lazy to take my studies that notch higher. And I know that I'll still do bally naught with a Masters as regards employability, but at least I'll be specialising in what I love and living in another country for a while. But knowing me I just won't have the guts :(

Before I leave I have to show you this: This guy is 40 friggin years old. And he's more handsome than ever. AND he plays in one of the best bands ever! Why aren't there more like him?



Till next time

Liz
xx

Batmannnn!

I was reading through some earlier posts and got an inexplicable urge to blog again, even though I doubt anyone reads this anymore. I have no idea how I'm going to go through life without marrying Christian Bale dressed up as Bruce Wayne (a.k.a guy behind the Bat mask). Italia Uno broadcast Batman Begins and I watched it for something like the fifth time if you count the times I rented it, and I did not get bored, not for one millisecond!

In other news, I've fallen in love with this song: Ceremony by New Order. It was on the Marie Antoinette soundtrack as well:)



pls excuse the crap video. There's also a Radiohead cover of the song which you can find among the related videos which appear after this vid ends.

I wish I could write more but it's one thirty and I need to go to sleep.

Much love
liz
xxx

"this beautiful never-ending... nothing"

I just watched The Good Girl and I wept like a baby afterwards. It is such a sad little story about the impossibility of running away from one's utter loneliness, it is about delusion, disappointment and failure and sadness and tragedy and shattered dreams. What makes it so tragic is that it's the story of so many people. I also took the title of this entry from it. And then I went on IMDB to look the film up and read that assault charges against Christian Bale have been dropped. This made me smile and thus I realized that I am what is technically known as a loser.

Summer has been quite good so far. It started out with a blast. I, the undersigned, the undersigned wimp I might add, went to a rock festival. And I survived! Well almost, I wouldn't have without my sister's apartment to sleep in for two hours/ shower every early morning. I watched Radiohead play live in front of my bespectacled eyes and I still cannot believe it happened to me. My idols from my teenage years just a few metres away from me. Nine hours starving in the same spot took care of the short distance. They played for two hours, which amounts to practically a whole gig:) Just before Radiohead came on, I had the privilege to watch Sigur Ros play their ethereal heart-wrenching music at sunset, which amounts to quasi-perfection. My exhaustion prevents me from elaborating further on the festival and the other acts we were lucky enough to watch.

I started work at Centrecom and it's as soul-crushing as booking flights all shift long can be. But mastering the reservation system is quite a challenge, even if a terribly unstimulating one. But thankfully the environment is quite friendly and my shifts are usually not bad. I work four shifts a week usually but now I'll probably make it a point to reduce them so as to have more time to read up for my thesis. I've had this one single thesis idea tucked away in my mind since April and finally i plucked up the courage to go talk to Dr Callus about it and realized I hadn't improved on it since April. I already feel like a pretentious incompetent git for having had the guts to go talk to Callus when I'm so clueless. Time will tell.

I guess I'll have to leave now since I'm out of wordless music I can blog to. Just one word of advice to those who haven't yet had the good sense to watch The Dark Knight. It's amazing, haunting, visionary. I MEAN IT. I did not want to leave the cinema when it ended because I wanted to rewind it and watch it all over again. Yes. It's that good. Heath Ledger is perfect as the Joker. And Christian Bale is Christian Bale. Guess I should be off now. Had more to write but it just fizzled out into hazy drowsiness.

Liz
xxx

Radio waves

You know, I love radios. They are so cool. The one in my room is a distinctly eighty-ish one: complete with ultra-stiff tuner and knobs the colour of fake dull silver. Very retro if you ask me. The cult indie crowd would love it I presume. What I love about radios is the idea of all these different disembodied voices coming into your drowsy little room and their absurd detachment and/or connection to your life. Last night I fell asleep to the voice of a guy on BBC radio, who was saying that the internet has led to the creation of an individual who is essentially alone and desperate. I love these adjectives of doom. Desperate. Alone. Don't they remind you of dear old Conrad? This afternoon two guys on XFM broadcast a really stupid jingle about the need for guys to test themselves for testicular cancer. Earlier on I heard an advert for Malta's very own High School Musical. Yes. Absolutely swell. Yet another way to celebrate mediocrity!!! Of all the stupid ideas. That insufferable show with that insufferable couple. Zac and Vanessa can put one off falling in love for years. It is bad. And then of course radios bring you the (mainstream) music of the age, which sometimes tends to be quite degenerate, but you do get the gems sometimes.

Anyway my point is that my exams are finished. As are my assignments and my German Circle exams. And it is only for this reason that I can go on rambling about radios till you are prone to end up murdering me. Anyways must be off to continue lazing drowsily about. Started work training with Centrecom. Will ramble about that some other time. Thanks to Andrea and co. for the lovely bag and top! Much Love! Isle of Mtv tomorrow! Let's learn all the Enrique/One Republic/ The Kooks lyrics by heart so we have good reason to scream:)

Till next time
Take care
liz

Numbness

Lately I've tried to blog many times but always stopped halfway because of sheer apathy, or the fact I felt it was better to vegetate on the bed in the little free time I have. But tonight my boredom has numbed me into simply attempting to type it away. OK. Let me admit it. I've seen worse days. Today I studied Virginia Woolf and started the mighty Conrad, whom I absolutely LOVE. Yes, I know, I'm a total Philistine and I've only read Heart of Darkness and no Lord Jim. But I still LOVE him. The man has IT. That thing which makes him absolutely indispensable to humanity, that thing that makes a light bulb go pop in your head in a sleepy library on an even sleepier May afternoon.

Despite the utter awesomeness that is Conrad, I am totally and utterly exhausted. My mind feels like a squashed cheeselet on the sizzling tarmac of a Maltese August noon. So I'm watching lots and lots of Daria, which some girl for whom I should build a monument uploaded on youtube. You see, Daria is the still point of the turning mediocre world. As I had said in a previous entry, Daria is or was a completely, intelligent, witty, funny, lovable show on MTV, and how this station degenerated to showing stuff like 'jackass' and 'rob and big' and 'viva la bam' is a perversion humanity will sadly never fathom.

In other world-shattering news, I'm twenty. YES. And I still watched Mini Bugz today cos it was Griz's birthday. My June birthday was the usual i.e. I spent it studying. Actually I spent it reading a book for Postcolonial Novel this year. The book was quite enjoyable, especially considering its heroine had a fetish for hairy wrists. EEW! The presents I got were absolutely tops though, and Andrea and co. have promised theirs when the sound and fury is over (Haven't met An in ages :(). Much love to them of course! I got money from parents and Aunt Maryanne and Uncle Joe, which I will use for Werchter of course XD. I got a lovely dainty butterfly-shaped necklace from Deborah, a Keane live DVD and documentary from Claire and 'The Gum Thief' by Douglas Coupland from Miriam:) Thanks so much XD

Last Saturday was hilarious. Looking forward to normal LIFE now. And Werchter of course!!!! Please God let the sun shine for those 4 days.

I' ll leave you with Daria: Please watch these and your life will be better: It's the first and second part of one episode:

Cheese

When taking short breaks from studying, i love watching Dawson's Creek (which according to me is one of the cringeworthiest series ever) episodes on Youtube and listening to all the cheesy lines. And then I love rewinding the cheesiest lines and listening to them again and cringing like there's no tomorrow. It makes me so happy. Some of the cheesiest lines I've heard so far:

"Your mother deserves a medal because she brought up the best boy ever."
"I'm the only guy in here who is with Audrey Hepburn." (when talking about Katie Holmes, the actress who wasn't even able to PRETEND she was remotely enjoying kissing the SHEER BEAUTY that is Christian Bale in Batman.)
Phrases such as "sexual theoretics, "acquiring genitalia", "your actions are articulating otherwise", "hormonal glitch" USED BY FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS IN DAY TO DAY CONVERSATIONS. Come off it!!!

More cheese and wackiness coming up soon hopefully!

till next time
take care
and


GOOD LUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Hate hate hate hate exams

I just watched a whole two hours of a movie with Christian Bale in it. And I didn't enjoy it. Because I was all the time telling myself I was wasting time. I hate exams. I love normal days when you can go to sleep knowing that whatever you didn't manage to finish today will be finished tomorrow. I love normal days when you can sit in the sun and read a poem just for the sake of reading a poem. Aargh I HATE EXAMS. It doesn't exactly help that I was born bang on the 3rd of June, which means I'll spend my twentieth birthday studying Postcolonial novels. Joy.

The film I watched was The Prestige. I loved most of it but the last part was just quite lame. Whatever. Best thing is that I can sleep with Christian Bale in my head. All over my worried head. And yes I'm worried about other stuff besides exams. But yes they are too stupid to see the light of blogging day. *cries herself to sleep*

moan groan pfsah blah

Liz

This is called exam stress.

This must be the coolest theme song ever. It's the nanananananana bit which gets me every time. I must learn how to sing it to perfection. I MUST.



Enjoy:D

Library air

I've been thinking about how we go through life storing up these lovely little memories in our soul: songs, people's smiles, lines from poems or books, pictures, so that our soul has something to feed on when we have to trudge through the bleakness of, say, a Discourse Analysis write-up. Must continue.

banging gates

After yesterday's outburst I had a good night's sleep. I dreamt about Prof Sciriha bullying me into telling her what the real word for a call centre is, and I also dreamt that a small cat had got into our house, but then it turned into a cheetah. I also dreamt something else but I forgot. Woke up to the sound of the wind banging one side of our gate into the other, but I must admit wind and white steely skies are great to study. I've given up on continuing the Sciriha write up today. I'll make myself do it in the library next week. At least there I do not have distractions. Just wanted to say that I'd been reading more than ever before exam period started, and am getting more excited about stuff than I'd been in years: books and films and similarly moving things. Just watched the first part of The Machinist but had to stop so as to study. Yesterday I found this: Kurtz reading TS Eliot's The Hollow Men. How genial is that?



"Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone."

elizabeth

evilness

I have not the slightest idea what unspeakable evils I committed to deserve feeling like the pile of shit I am feeling like right now. I am trying to do the Sciriha write up and trying to deal with the guilt feelings of having wasted an evening but I just can't. All I can do is weep and listen to this Take That song. I know it's soppy but its utterly lovely so all the cynics should shut up. I'm sure none read my blog anyway.

Anyways I have nothing more substantial to say, except that I feel like a pile of shit. And the anger I'm feeling at the moment is inexplicable and evil evil evil. Mah dear but this song is so sweet.

end stupid blog

liz

A splinter of ice

It's May and we all know what that means. The word bleakness, which used to be this vague fleeting sinking of the heart I got every now and then becomes a rather more concrete reality. Since basically all that awaits everyone for the next forty days are books, books, notes and notes. There's nothing particularly evil about books, mind you. It's just having to comment intelligently about them in essay form that can prove rather tricky. Today I realised I must be the worst parker and three point turner that ever crawled on the surface of the earth. I just do NOT get this stuff, and the twisted logic one must use to maneouvre it. And how is one supposed to be quick with one's hands while steering and slow with one's feet while maneouvring the clutch? I just can never soar to such heights of bodily co-ordination. I give up. At least a Beatles song came on the radio while I was driving. It's always heartening to see such remnants of humanity stuck around while driving in some unspeakably hideous place like the tunnels near the Junior College.

A few days ago I posted a blog about the amazing, marvellous, superb, brilliant, yes, brilliant, one of my favourite words in the whole of the English language, film that is CAPOTE. But I deleted it cos it just did not do the film justice. What. a. film. !!! It is basically about the story behind the writing of In Cold Blood, this "nonfiction novel", by Truman Capote. It is about art, and an artist's desire for recognition ("When I think how good my book can be, I can hardly breathe") , and how far he'll go in order to create great art, and the relationships he'll get caught up in. Philip Seymour Hoffman is just superb as Capote, and he transmits the complexity of this fascinating artist, who could have easily come across simply as a gay prima donna or else a completely clinical attention-seeking manipulator. Perry Smith, one of the murderers, will melt your heart and reduce it to a little seed (gungliena). I found myself utterly in love with him.


Anyways I got to be off to continue studying, Good luck to everyone.

Take care
liz
xxx

Is it just me?

I picked up an edition of Q magazine I'd bought about a year ago and I wanted to start screaming and shrieking and stamping on it. Why is everyone so hell bent on being called indie and cool while at the same time paradoxically pretending they're laid back? why? why? why? Why can't people just give it their best shot at making some good music/cinema/theatre/whatever and get on with their lives? Ok maybe I'm becoming paranoid but it's true!!! I remember seeing a sketch on MTV about an MTV2 presenter, and the guy mimicking him said this: "Hello, My name is Gideon Yago. I'm so indie and cool. Take me seriously." Don't you ever get the feeling that everyone's whispering that under his breath? underneath those clothes which are so skilfully worn to give the impression that the person just couldn't care less? At least, if you're eager to please, for goodness' sake, just say so!!! It's perfectly natural! I like it when people like me and think I'm intelligent/cool/funny/whatever. There, I've said that. Now tell me why can't other people say so too? Ok, I do know quite a few genuinely nice people without such pressing self-image issues, and I'm very glad I do, but what the hell is wrong with everyone else??? Anyways, I should be off.

PS A classmate of mine mentioned this band with a very ridiculous name but some lovely songs. Quite worth your three minutes.

Till next time,
Liz
xxx

Our small lives

Stayed home today even though was supposed to go meet Adriana and co. in the afternoon for her birthday. But we met last night so I guess it didn't matter much. Laziness and a headache got in my way. Argh I disappoint myself. But at the same time, I have loads to do, so better stop letting days slip leisurely by as I've been doing lately. Spent the afternoon finishing my CV. Hallelujah!!! As I shall be applying for a job at Centrecom next week, in my unwavering attempt to avoid the evil language schools. We'll see. Attempted to buy Werchter tickets online last Saturday, but am still waiting for the reply which confirms my success in said enterprise. Hope I managed! Because despite the fact I'm a non-camping wimp, I'm getting really excited about the whole thing! Moreover, I'm getting hooked on the Editors, who happen to be just one of the awesome folks playing there:D. This absolutely heart wrenching beautiful song is what I'm listening to something like six times a day at the moment.

Spent the weekend re-reading Heart of Darkness, which I have solemnly declared to myself to be my favourite book. Ever. I loved that book from the first time I read it, yet realised that my awe at it had not prevented me from inconveniently forgetting a lot of rather important details, which are expected in exams. And now, I fell in love with it all over again. You see, you read a lot of stuff, and you say this is really amazing, really good, really groundbreaking. Yet it's always special when you read a book you'd wanna keep reading forever, a book that really strikes a chord somewhere really deep in the recesses of your soul. Oh God, it makes me want to cry. Ah I'm such a child still discovering!!! A couple of weeks ago got really excited at table with my mum's aunt and cousin and my parents, when they were having a really serious conversation about the Belgian Congo. (My great-aunt lived in Africa for 50 years). I usually hate speaking about uni-related stuff with sensible fully adult people, because I'm so darn full of issues, but I was actually dying to say that Conrad wrote a book about the Belgian Congo! And it will change your life if you read it!!! Alas, they changed the subject before I came round to saying it. And that day, I realised something, apart from the fact that I love Conrad, and that I'm a social invalid, as my sis would say. I realised that our small lives, our ordinary lives, are made extraordinary or special by these 'small' things: books, plays, songs, and in an action as simple as quietly (read: not to impress or boast) mentioning these things to others, we are trying to assert that this seemingly meaningless existence, actually means something, that this humanity is not just a glorified animal, but something MORE. Which is why I think that a society which considers arts students as superfluous and a financial burden is unwittingly letting its own humanity slip through its fingers.

I'd been dying to write this, even though a gazillion people must have felt the same. Hope someone actually, you know, reads it!

take care,
lizzy
xxx

April

Sometimes I feel like life is this constant sinking of the heart. This constant delusion and dread at the same time, like you're shrinking from what awaits you and dismayed at what has happened already. Today found myself daydreaming about having written a great book, or short story at least, and found myself babbling away about it. At least in the process I got yet another vague, will-probably-lead-to-nothing idea about a possible thesis subjsct. Oh well, we'll see.

Weather just turned glorious. And I'm going to a rock festival in summer. Where there'll be Radiohead! And Sigur Ros! And the Babyshambles! and REM and Mika and the Editors and Lenny Kravitz and lots of cool people wihiiii!!! Hopefully Rain won't make an appearance though.

Exams timetable just came out. My exams are rather uncomfortably packed together, poor things, should get down to work, shouldn't I? They're packt like sardines in a crushed tin box. And yes that's the title of a Radiohead song!!! *Nerdy grin*

am off,
cookies and chocolates
Lizzy
xxx

Bleakness

wrote this a couple of days ago but didn't post:

I feel bleak. This is probably the first time this year I've felt like this. Nothing can cheer me up. I seem to be constantly moving in a current of flatness.

Granny died about a month ago. I just can't get myself to go back to the room we used to share. But she's in a much much better place now. At the end her health kept getting worse and worse. As my sister said she's now dispersed in the sunset.

Goodbye Granny xxx

An unceremonious declaration

Taking a small breather from assignmenting, which I must unceremoniously declare I am most tired of. Dear me, dear me, dear me I am tired. I've been studying and reading and studying and reading in a rather it-is-(really!)-exam-time mood since Boxing Day and I must say I need a break. My brain cells need a break, honestly!!! Yet, I have two assignments left to do. One of them is a massive 4000-word essay on literary theory, at which everyone in my class is rather bewildered. And the other is my last remaining 2 ECTS from first year, which I am now rather scared won't be awarded because I simply do not feel competent to write about Petrarch's influence on English sonnet sequences when I have never read any Petrarch, and I've barely skimmed through any sonnet sequences. God please help me, I'm treading most unfamiliar territory.

And... all I want to do is listen to the Arctic Monkeys. They're so coool!!! No wonder everyone was going berserk mentioning them in hi5 and facebook profiles, because they're really good. Even though as usual I suspect it has become a trend to like them, yet at least they're good, so maybe they deserve to have a trend whereby they are liked! You know what I like about them? They have a voice of their own, a 21st century voice! And they're soo young! A voice is all I want, to say something, do something, mine! yet something that also draws on the torrent of things that I've been exposed to, but mine! still mine! Ah, the bliss!

Anyhows, more importantly, This morning, a dear dear friend of mine, definitely one of my best and closest and oldest, whom I've known since I was eleven, left for London!!! Good luck Disirenn, if you're reading this. Life is beckoning :DDDD!!!

Must be off now!
Take care everybody and Happy Birthday Claire :D
xxxxx

psst psst: Listening to: Fluorescent Adolescent - the Arctic Monkeys

the hollow-men. and women.

Dear me, am feeling so troubled tonight. I just feel frustrated with people sometimes. Don't know what they want from me. I care about people I shouldn't give a damn about. It's the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes I feel I'm going nuts. I think so many stupid things that stupidity becomes a system of thought in its own right. The metaphysics of stupidity???

Have become addicted to the Arctic Monkeys. They were all the rage two years ago. I presume they still are. Even though the music industry forgets people pretty easily these days. But I still think they're very alive and kicking. I was reading about them yesterday. They were twenty (MY AGE BASICALLY) when they released their excessively successful and totally awesome debut album Whatever you say I am, that's what I am not. Dear me! And here I am sitting around, being a full time wimp with a tendency for irritating self-satisfaction. Dear me! How I would like to write a nice little song. And then I'd be so happy. I'd make people smile and feel good when they hear it while working on assignments.

Life: Something I need to get.

Listening to: When the Sun Goes Down: The Arctic Monkeys

wrong priorities

Am at university and waiting to leave for my German Circle lesson. I just went to a lecture with the first years, a lecture I'm not registered for but that I've been advised to attend cos it's important. And I've discovered another thing that REALLY irks me. People who have a stuffy obsession with the correct pronunciation. Ok, so this lecturer, who is rather new to the university, is delivering a really good lecture about the significance of Shakespeare. He makes a mistake in pronunciation, and the people behind me are laughing their heads off, riding on their ridiculous high horse, just because they caught him out in a mistake. Now, I'm not one to be a lecturer's pet and look up in awe at lecturers just because they're lecturers, but one has to give credit where it is due. This lecturer knows what he's talking about, and is articulating it most eloquently. Yes, ok, he is a lecturer of English. BUT he is Maltese, and like most Maltese, got most of his English through silent reading. So what if his accent is not exactly like the queen's? So what if he says 'rhetoric' not quite right? At least, he's insightful and intelligent, not like the silly people whose most important goal in life is to get the pronunciation right. No writer or artist has touched and moved entire generations of thinkers through his right pronunciation. Joseph Conrad, the Polish born author, had a notoriously bad pronunciation. Yet, he is one of the leading novelists of the twentieth century. You might argue, "but he's Polish". And we're Maltese. Aaaargh. Silly frivolous people. In 1984, George Orwell talks about "the neat handwriting of the illiterate". I think I know what he was talking about. I'd say "the correct pronunciation of the irrevocably dumb". Get. over. it.

Exams. finally. OVER.

Hello there, the exams are finally over!!! And even though I have three considerably taxing assignments, I must say I feel pretty free and floaty. I've been sleeping/wasting time all day long, and so I said, why not continue? Tonight I'm going to watch Elizabeth The Golden Age at the Tal-Lira cinemas with my uncle. I know they' ve said it's nowhere as uppaclass as the first one, but what can be so evil about a film which shares the name with yours truly and stars dearest most beloved Clive Owen (in tights!!! LOL) ? Anyways my reasons for writing this blog are getting slimmer and more depleted every minute, so maybe should put on some music for inspiration. Which brings me to this song, A Certain Romance by the Arctic Monkeys. I'd heard about this band and how absolutely awesome and up'n'happening they are, but being the lazy bum that I am I'd never bothered to listen. It was only a few days ago that I stumbled upon this lovely lovely song in my sister's playlist, and I haven't stopped listening to it ever since lol. And even the lyrics are nice wiii.

Anyhow, what else what else? Yesterday I went to dear old Paceville again after an absence of three long weeks. Must say that despite the fact that I'm pretty fed up of the place, it still has a kind of worn out, shabby, dusty allure. We went to Koyote and it was kind of funny. They were playing a lot of nightclub-by songs and it was kind of nice and pumping, if you know what I mean (don't worry I don't know what I mean either). Besides, I was ecstatic at finally being able to dress up nicely again, and apply make-up and wear lenses and be a young gal all over again after those never-ending days of 150%nerdism. Anyways, I think I'm out of inspiration now. Must say I'm quite looking forward to starting uni lectures again. I know I'm a hopeless nerd but it'll be nice to see everyone again and get back to good old normal life.

ps I've added to links to my dear friends' Andrea and Desiree's blogs, so check them out.

Till next time,
Take care and Happy Carnival
Liz
xxx

RIP Heath Ledger :(

I still can't believe this young, talented, smart, handsome young actor is dead. Probably because of drugs. What a waste! I am truly saddened. Why? Why? Why? I will never forget his heart-wrenching performance in the beautiful Brokeback Mountain. He was such a wonderful actor. Goodbye Heath Ledger, and may you rest in peace.

Listening to: The Wings- Brokeback Mountain OST

ramble ramble

Am trying the whole blogging with music on thing again. Failing miserably. Anyway won't write much cos I've had enough of looking at words all day long, however much i luv 'em little things. Exams start the day after tomorrow. A bit nervous of course but hopefully all will be ok. Please God.

Was wondering why pete doherty doesn't get clean once and for all. I used to think he was a stupid jerk but have been listening to some of his songs with the libertines and the babyshambles and I must say they are quite beautiful. He seems to be very poetical and it's not some pretentious pseudo-alternative (learnt a new word- from my sister!) junk that he writes. The songs have a very genuine effortless beauty about them actually. God I just do not know how to blog with music on!!! Am off!

Good luck for the exams
Liz
xxxx

Listening to: Babyshambles- I love you but you're green.

out of the bubble

Have decided to crawl out of my little bubble of endless self-indulgence and look at the world around me and I was horrified. Last night I discovered that students AND PROFESSORS(!!!) at the Sapienza University in Rome protested because the Pope was going to speak at their University, apparently because they felt this threatened the secularism of the state. Ok, so I prevent one of the most important theologians of the 20th century from speaking at my university simply because he's the Pope and it would make the state look too religious (rather than secular). or some such Bullshit. What, indeed, is the world coming to? or what is it going back to? i should say. This question is not a question of whether you have faith in the Catholic religion, not even of whether you respect the Pope's status or not. This is a question of whether today's supposed intellectuals behave like intellectuals and listen to other people say what they have to say, hence widening their perspectives and engaging in civilized dialogue. There is nothing wrong with any religious leader speaking anywhere, let alone at a university, where everyone's supposed to be reasonable and longing to listen, be it the Dalai Lama or the Imamm or the Greek Patriarch or the Pope. Dear me, and this coming from one of the best universities in Europe. They should be ashamed. The decadence. I. am. appalled.

Exam time

I am currently trying to do something which is rather difficult for such a dismal multi-tasker as I am: write a decent blog entry with music with words playing on in the background. These past few days I've been in a rather dreamy, melliferous mood. Yes, the fact that I am holed up with books ALL DAY LONG will result in the occasional burst of anachronistic vocabulary just for the sake of it. Everybody knows that one of the major perks that goes with the studying of English is the ability to sprinkle a blog with lovely glimmering words here and there, just for the kicks. Please note I am attempting to be humorous, or to "say a jowkh", as Achmed would put it. Dear me I really need to get out of the house.

Anyway, this dreamy mood has led me to overdose a little bit on lovely melodious (=melliferous) songs such as Christmas songs and totally soppy love songs. Right now I am listening to Christina Aguilera's lovely voice telling me to have a merry little Christmas. How utterly sweet. Studying is progressing quite well, though I am rather pressed for time, to put it mildly. But at least I've read the poems and plays and "what have you", as our dear ever-absent Victorian poetry lecturer seems to call all literature in general.

My social life is on hold now too so I do not have much else to report. Dear me I think I have just managed to write a blog entry with music on. I'm so utterly awesome. I had it in my mind to write so much more than I did but I just have to start teaching myself Browning, because our lecturer simply didn't. Yet another reason not to love Victorian literature.

Am off now, and since I'm awesome enough to have finally learnt the mindblowing method of writing blogs with music on, I'll add this Livejournal-esque feature: (The next step will be writing a DECENT blog with music on.)

listening to: Nat King Cole- Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Till next time,
take care and (for uni readers) Good Luck for the exams

BTW this is very cool: cool thingie

Liz
xxxxx

Not today

I was supposed to write a major blog entry, shining with quivering drops of pure wisdom, to launch the new year, to promise myself I am gonna be better in every way, to promise myself I shall do my utmost so that this year turns out to be the best of my life.

Alas!

You find me rather sick and weak, with the red area around my nose and lips still...well..red.

I was also supposed to write an account of Christmas and NY, which were quite lovely actually.

Well,

not today.

Today all I could do was remember this depressive quote from 'The Family Reunion'
by T.S. Eliot:

"The world would be unendurable, if you were wide awake."

My brother just asked me when I start my exams. 'Tis depressing. I need to go to sleep.

Bye bye
xxxxx